Did you know that you can change your mood and your outlook in only a minute? It’s true that when we are in a funk or grumpy it doesn’t seem possible to change how we are feeling. But in actuality, it is our thoughts that are driving how we feel.
For years I was controlled by my feelings. If I was unhappy with my current circumstance it ruined my whole day and sometimes my week. I always knew when I was complaining and feeling sorry for myself that my thoughts were the things that were bringing me down, not my circumstances.
I certainly understand those of you that can tell me about terrible things going on in your lives and how that affects you. I get that cancer, divorce, or death of a loved one can be so devastating. But, dwelling on the negative will not make it better, it will only make you feel worse. I am not saying don’t think about it, of course, you will, but you don’t have to think about it every moment of the day and let it interfere with any enjoyment you might have.
My mother died in 2006 after a lengthy battle with cancer. My children were eight, twelve and sixteen at the time. Unfortunately for them, I obsessed about missing my mom for years. I would focus on them and enjoy them but I let the cloud of grief hanging over us.
I know grief takes time and everyone is different in how they deal with it but after a couple Christmases and Mother’s Days without her, I believe I should have focused on what I had left more than what I lost.
Today, I know the secret to change my moods and my thoughts and it only takes a moment or two. When I feel myself going down a mental spiral about something I don’t have or something I wish were happening instead, I take a moment and think about what I have and say, “Thank you.”
Here is an example: we recently had some expensive home repairs done. I felt myself focusing on how much it was costing and thinking about the money until I had a stomach ache and was very grumpy. Once I caught myself I started thinking and thanking God that we have a nice home, that we could pay for the repair, that we have had very few repairs on our house, that the people working on the house were good men and that I was happy we were helping to provide for their families by hiring them. It wasn’t longer than a minute and I was feeling better.
Am I perfect at using this process? Of course not, but I am learning every day and you can too.